Don’t Send a Counter Until You Know the Answer

I was at baseball last weekend, and one of the other dads started telling me about some friends of his. They listed their house with another agent, and it’s been sitting on the market for a while. They’ve already made a couple of price reductions.

We already talked about how much your list price matters in today’s market, so I figured that’s where the story was going. But then he told me the part that really got me.

They did get an offer. One offer. They countered it… and the buyer walked away.

“Meet in the Middle” Isn’t Negotiating

Here’s how it goes way too often. An offer comes in. The agent looks at the list price, looks at the offer, and picks a number to send back. Usually it’s somewhere in the middle, because that feels fair.

But that number is kind of arbitrary. Nobody asked the buyer anything. Nobody knows if that counter is something they can actually say yes to. You’re just putting a number on paper and hoping.

That isn’t negotiation. That’s guessing.

What I Do Instead: Pick Up the Phone

I want to know what the answer is going to be before I put anything in writing.

So when we get an offer, the first thing I do is set up a call with the buyer’s agent. And I dig into everything I can about the buyer:

• Why are they moving? New job, growing family, lease ending, selling another house?
• What does their timeline look like? Do they need to close fast, or do they need more time?
• What’s tight for them? Is it the monthly payment, the cash to close, or the price itself?
• What do they love about the house, and what are they worried about?

Then I look for things we could give them, other than price, that would actually help:

• Help with closing costs, so they bring less cash to the table
• A closing date or possession date that works with their move
• Taking care of a repair they’re nervous about, or offering a credit
• Leaving appliances, the washer and dryer, or other items they want
• A home warranty for some peace of mind

Sometimes those things are worth more to the buyer than a few thousand dollars off the price, and they may cost my seller less. But I only know that if I ask.

Why This Matters So Much Right Now

In today’s market, we have to keep our buyers.

Buyers know they have the upper hand right now. There are more homes to choose from than there were a few years ago. So if you get an offer and blindly counter with something that makes the buyer feel like you’re not being reasonable, they don’t always counter back. A lot of times, they just walk away and go look at the next house.

And if your house has already been sitting with price cuts, that one offer might be the best shot you’ve got. Losing it over a number you picked without a conversation hurts.

My phone call is how I figure out what we can counter with that keeps them in the deal. I’m still working to get my seller the best result. I just want to know what the buyer will say yes to before I send it.

The Tip

• Don’t put a counter in writing until you know what the answer will be. Talk first, then write.
• Find out what the buyer actually needs. Motivation, timeline, and cash to close tell you more than the offer price does.
• Negotiate more than the price. Closing costs, dates, repairs, and personal property can bridge a gap that price alone can’t.
• Remember the goal. In this market, it’s not about winning the counter. It’s about keeping your buyer and getting to closing.

And sometimes the right move is not to counter at all. I wrote about that in They Countered Themselves: Knowing When NOT to Negotiate.

Just the Tip Tuesday is my weekly series breaking down real-world real estate situations, negotiation strategies, contracts, and lessons I've learned over more than a decade in the business. Every negotiation is different, and seller concessions like closing cost help can be limited by the buyer’s loan program.